The Power of Vulnerability

 The Power of Vulnerability 

From collecting data to turning them into stories, Brené Brown, an American professor/ researcher-storyteller, deserved to be voted one of Houston's most influential women. After 10 years of Brown being a social worker, she realized that connection is why we are here. While collecting research she stumbled upon a piece of research that radically expanded her perception. 

While collecting research to understand human connection, Brown ran into shame. She then says that shame is caused by something we are all familiar with, vulnerability. Vulnerability basically makes us feel worthless like we are never and can never be enough. Personally, I hate feeling vulnerable because it makes me feel weak. However, I know that vulnerability should not be seen as a weakness but as a strength. After many long interviews, stories, and focus groups, Brown concluded that only one variable differentiates between people who have a strong sense of love and belonging and those who do not. This variable was that people who have a strong sense of love and belonging truly believe that they are worthy. Not only do they believe that they are worthy but they have the courage to be imperfect, the compassion to be kind to both themselves and others, and the connection as a result of authenticity. I strongly agree with what Brown said about how compassion is a strong factor in making people believe they are worthy. This is because those who treat others with kindness will most likely expect others to treat them kindly too. Meaning they do think they are worthy of being treated nicely. However, I do not agree with the last point Brown made. Sometimes people are true to who they really are but end up getting judged and left out which leads to them feeling insecure and vulnerable. I guess this factor may depend on the people you choose to surround yourself with. Despite that, I do agree with Brown when she says that people who fully embrace vulnerability often believe that they are worthy of love and belonging. 

A part of her talk that I think is so important to look at was when talked about how she got 150 responses within an hour and a half of posting "How would you define vulnerability/ What makes you feel vulnerable?" I think this part can help us, vulnerable people, see and understand that this is not something that only we struggle with. We need to comprehend the fact that vulnerability makes us human. I feel like if we all just accept this then it will be easier for us to embrace our vulnerabilities. Something I found so interesting would be the part where she said that although vulnerability causes fear, shame, and struggle for worthiness it also causes creativity, joy, belonging, and love. If I had not heard that part I do not think I would have ever thought vulnerability could cause anything positive. Don't get me wrong I do think that vulnerability is a strength. But I only thought it was something that we should embrace because it is normal, I never thought it could result in such great things.

I liked listening to the first 15 minutes of the talk but I absolutely loved listening to the last 5 minutes of it. Throughout those five minutes, she discussed multiple things people do to deal with vulnerability. The first thing was that we numb vulnerability and I do not think Brown could have said it any better when she said "we live in a vulnerable world." Overall, she explained that turning to harmful things to numb negative emotions will end up numbing the positive emotions too because there is no such thing as selective numbing. These things may work for a little while but they are temporary which people eventually realize. A cycle then starts: people turn to harmful things, become miserable, look for purpose and meaning, feel vulnerable, and go back to harmful things. The second thing she discussed is very applicable to today's world, and that is taking something uncertain and making it certain. If we are uncertain we are confused and scared which makes us feel vulnerable. But if we convince ourselves that this is in fact certain then we will feel powerful. The third thing would be perfecting. This point is very important to me because I am a perfectionist. As Brown said, I have to accept that nothing and no one is perfect. We are all imperfect and flawed but despite that, we are still worthy of love and belonging. Lastly, humans pretend. People always pretend that what they do does not have an impact on others. I do not believe that this applies to everyone because some people base every action they make on how people will react and how it will affect them. 

Letting ourselves be seen vulnerably, loving with no guarantee, and practicing gratitude and joy in moments of terror are all very hard but necessary steps we need to take to believe that we are worthy of love and belonging. The hardest and most important step is finally realizing that we are enough. Being vulnerable may be too much to deal with sometimes but it is what makes us ALIVE.